I used to be terrified that
if I were to surrender every aspect of my life to God that He would ask me to
do something crazy or scary – or both. I
used to be certain that if I were to give myself completely to Him that He
would tell me that he wanted me to go live in a grass hut in Africa. I’m serious – that was a literal thought and
fear of mine. I was totally cool with
being comfortable. I lived in a
comfortable little Christian bubble and that was ok with me. I attended church faithfully and I tried to
be a good witness to those around me.
That’s good enough, right?
At the time I thought it
was. For so long I had been fine with
just being on the sidelines of life without actually getting into the “game”
and getting dirty, you know what I mean?
When I finally made the
decision to completely surrender my life to God a few years ago, my life definitely
changed. Here are a few things that have
happened in my life since then:
-
I enrolled in
college (which forced me to do public speaking and class presentations– yikes!)
-
I made new
friends (yes, this was scary for me)
-
I started helping
teach K-3rd kids at church and played a 5 year old cheerleader in
skits (I know – this was wayyy out of my comfort zone)
-
I started sharing my faith with classmates
-
I became a youth
leader at my church
Some of these things might
not sound so scary and crazy to you – but they were for me! There are so many other little things that I
can’t even think of, but through it all God has given me the strength to do all
of them. I have never felt so fulfilled
and at peace with my life than I do now.
I am continually learning to just turn things over to God and live in
the comfort of knowing that He is in complete control over every situation in
my life. I still have my freak out moments but God always gets my attention and calms me back down.
When I think back to how
terrified I used to be of doing things that are out of my comfort zone, it’s
almost funny to me. I do things that used to
completely freak me out and make me a nervous wreck on a weekly basis now. And I have realized in the midst of all of
it, that I don’t want to be comfortable anymore. I want to be pushed. I want to be challenged. I want God to shake up my world a little bit.
And if that means that He
will eventually want me to live in a grass hut in Africa, then ok. I’m not saying that wouldn’t still be wayyy
out of my comfort zone – but for some reason, it doesn’t seem as scary now.
I don’t think God wants me to
live in my little bubble and have a comfortable life. I think
He wants me to change, to be challenged, to grow, to stretch myself, and to be
obedient in allowing Him to use me to my full potential. So here I am, God. I’m all yours – and that's the part I feel really comfortable with.
