If someone would have
asked me a few weeks ago to define Christian excellence, I probably would have
stared blankly at them for a few seconds and then given them a short answer
like this: “I think that Christian excellence is striving to be more like
Christ.” While that may be part of the
definition, I have learned that it is really so much deeper than that. I have also realized that if I truly am
striving for Christian excellence in my own life, I am failing miserably and
have a lot of work to do.
The majority of my life has been spent aimlessly
wandering through life. Growing up, my
parents made me believe that my main purpose in life was to become a
Christian, followed by becoming a wife and mother. They never encouraged me to go to college
after graduating from high school because I didn’t need a college education to
be a wife and mother. So in my mind,
college was not necessary, nor was it even an option for me. By the age of 18, I was already engaged to be
married. At the time, my fiancé was not
in a place where he would be able to support us both financially, so I came to
the conclusion that in order to be able to get married, I would have to get a
job. I applied for a job as an optician
without any experience or knowledge of the optical world and I was hired on the
spot.
After getting married at the age of 20, my husband and I
both continued to work full-time and we were very content with our lives. We both wanted to have kids, but not right
away. After a couple of years, we
decided we were ready to have a family so we bought our first home. After our first son was born I was on
maternity leave for 8 weeks and it became very clear to me that God had not
called me to be a stay at home mom. I
returned to work and a couple of years later, we had our second son.
After life sort of calmed down and we settled into our
family of four, I began to feel like I was in a rut. I became bored with my surroundings and began
feeling depressed. I remember one
evening I was standing at my kitchen sink, washing dishes after dinner and I
remember contemplating my life. I
thought about my wonderful husband and boys, our cute little house, our
wonderful church, our jobs, and all of the things that God had blessed me
with. Yet I still felt unfulfilled, like
there was supposed to be something more.
I literally remember thinking, “This is it, God? This is my life?”
After praying about it for a while God made it very clear
to me what He wanted me to do. It was
the first time in my life that I could literally hear God speak to me and all
He said was, “I want you to go to school.”
Even though I thought it sounded crazy, I couldn’t ignore what God was
leading me to do. I spoke to my husband
about it and he was completely on board.
After that, everything just began to fall into place and it was amazing
to see God open all the doors to make things possible.
I have been able to continue working at my job as an
optician while attending classes at the same time, which has been a huge
blessing. I don’t hate my job, nor do I
dread going to work every morning, but at the same time, I don’t love it, nor
am I passionate about it. During the
past several months I have begun liking my job less and less. As I have been nearing the end of my
education to acquire my associate’s degree, I have started feeling more excited
and anxious about beginning my classes in substance abuse counseling to get my
bachelor’s degree and my counseling license.
In turn, this has caused me to feel even less satisfied with my current
job and has caused me to become antsy.
When I started my first class of my bachelor’s program,
Christian Excellence, I must admit I wasn’t looking forward to the class. I didn’t understand what Christian Excellence
had to do with my major and I was just ready to dive into my counseling classes. After two and a half years of being in
school, I was feeling burned out. Burned
out with school, my job, all of my responsibilities and just life in general. My attitude towards others, especially my
co-workers, had turned rotten. In my
mind, I was just ready to get out of this “dead-end” job and move on with my
life as a counselor. Boy, was I in for a
rude awakening.
God got my attention during the very first night of my
Christian Excellence class. That night,
everything hit me at once. God made it
very clear to me how wrong my attitude was about everything. He showed me how selfish I was being and
showed me that I was focusing on all of the wrong things. I had allowed my pride to get in the way of
how I was living my life. I had become
so focused on reaching the goal that God was calling me to reach, that it
became MY goal, instead of His. I was
trying to do things without His help, relying on my own strength and patting
myself on the back for how far I had already come in achieving my goal. That first night of class, my professor told
us that our three main goals in life should be to, 1) Bring God Glory, 2) Win
the World for Christ, and 3) Represent God.
It was in that moment that I realized just how off-base I had become and
that somewhere along the way, I had lost my main focus: Christ.
In our first week of homework we were assigned some
reading material that our homework questions were based on. In the first chapter of one my textbooks, “The Christian’s Guide to Effective Personal
Management”, the author, Oosting, states that, “Too much attention to self
is probably the major reason that many people are not at peace with God”…”Having
a right relationship with God requires us to put God first in a meaningful way
and not just by the words that we say” (2003, p. 7). I realized that I was no longer putting God
first, especially in school and at my job.
It was then that I began asking God to soften and humble my heart in all
situations in my life, and it was then that my attitude began to change.
My job had become a frustrating one. I was clashing with one of my co-workers, I
was frustrated with my boss, I was tired of being yelled at by angry patients,
and I resented the fact that my hard work was never appreciated or
recognized. Another textbook that we
were reading is called, “How to Get Along
With Almost Anyone.” In this book,
the author talks about the importance of wisdom in getting along with
others. Wright (1989) says, “You need
understanding, insight, discernment, patience, and a host of other qualities to
read and relate to others. God’s wisdom,
resident in His Word and available to you through His Spirit, will equip you to
get along with people” (p. 70). This
reminder really stood out to me because I realized that I had not been asking
God for wisdom in how to deal with my frustrations in my job and my
relationships with co-workers. I had
become a negative person in my job and I found myself criticizing others and
complaining about everything that was frustrating me. This became a turning point for me. That night I made the decision to change my
attitude and actions at work and I started the next morning. Just in the past few weeks, it has been
incredible to see how God softening my heart and changing my attitude has
completely changed my work environment and my relationships with others.
This entire Christian Excellence class has been an
exhausting time of self-evaluation and conviction in my life. Every class has been an emotional experience
for me as God continues to open my eyes and my heart to things that I need to
change about myself, and things I need to do to realign where my focus should
be in every aspect of my life. For as
long as I can remember I have had an intense burden for hurting, troubled
people, and I have had a burning passion in my heart to love them with God’s
love and to accept them no matter who they are or what kind of life they are
living. This burden and passion are part
of what has led me to wanting to get into a counseling field so that I can make
a difference in someone’s life just by loving them with God’s love and
listening to them. But after taking this
class, God has caused me to question my motives and evaluate where my heart is. How can I love complete strangers and hope to
counsel them and make a difference in their life, when I am not even doing that
with the people I see every single day?
In his book, “Christian
Excellence”, author Johnston states, “If we desire excellence – the kind of
excellence that will bring the most glory to our heavenly Father – we must
deepen in our understanding of, and commitment to, authentic agape love, a love
that is unconditional, sacrificial, and available to all”…”It is not enough to
have minds that radiate with His excellence.
That same excellence must permeate our actions. We must be constantly involved in loving
deeds” (1996, pp. 49 & 52). I have
become so focused on what I want to do in the future, that I have been neglecting
what I need to be doing in the present.
If you were to ask me today what the definition of
Christian excellence is, I would tell you that I believe that Christian
excellence is finding my identity in Christ, and nothing else, and being better
today than I was yesterday. I don’t want
to look back on my life and wish that I had loved people more, prayed with them
more, and been present with them more.
This Christian Excellence class has been exactly what I needed, exactly
when I needed it. It has confirmed to me
that I am exactly where God wants me to be right now and that there is no need
to rush getting my bachelor’s degree and counseling license because He is still
teaching me and molding me into exactly who He wants me to be. The goals that I am working towards will be
achieved all in God’s time and I can rest in the peace of knowing that God has
everything under control. In the
meantime, I am going to press into Christ and let Him use me however He sees
fit right now. I don’t just want God to
use me in the future – I want Him to use me in the now. And I want it all to be for His glory. “Whatever
you do, do it all for the glory of God.” 1 Corinthians 10:31.
