I'm a rebel

I'm a rebel.  I always have been and probably always will be.

I grew up in a Christian home with three older siblings.   I have two brothers and one sister.  My brave mom homeschooled all 4 of us and to this day, I still don't know how she did it.  By the time it came for her to start teaching me, I'm surprised she didn't just throw her hands up in the air and say, "I give up, God!  I'm done!"...and then proceed to throw me out the window.  But she didn't.  She's an amazingly strong and patient woman and one of my best friends. 

My dad is a pastor and he is the most godly and humble man I know.  He has always been a very involved kind of dad.  He is very loving and patient and the kind of dad that you feel comfortable talking to about anything.  He is also one of my best friends.  

That's right, folks.  I'm a pastor's kid.  A big "PK".  I don't typically like to tell people that because a lot of people seem to have these preconceived ideas of how pastor's kids are and that so many of them are rebellious.  And maybe that is the case a lot of times, but I just don't like being stereotyped.  Now don't get me wrong - I was a little rebellious growing up.  I still am, actually.  And by rebellious, I don't mean I was sneaking out of the house, drinking and doing drugs and things of that nature.  By rebellious, I mean, I wore jeans and I had a bad attitude.  Go ahead and laugh.   My parents were always very conservative, and growing up, my mom made me wear jean skirts, jean jumpers, homemade plaid jumpers and homemade flowery dresses with big white collars...ugh.  Yes, we were one of THOSE families.  I had long, straight, scraggly-looking hair and wore these big ugly hair bows.  When I look back at pictures of myself, all I can think is, "Why me, God?!  Why didn't someone HELP me??"  Anyway, that's besides the point.

When I was 6 years old, I prayed with my dad in my bedroom one night and asked Jesus to save me and to forgive me of my sins.  I was baptized on a Sunday morning shortly after that.  I fully understood what I was doing and I know that I was genuinely saved at that point in my life and I have never doubted my salvation.  I do remember rededicating my life to God when I was 13 during revival services at our church one spring.  I went through different phases during my teen years of feeling close to God and really desiring Him and other phases when I didn't feel so close to Him.  During some of those years, I kept a prayer journal.  I recently found one of those prayer journals and after reading some of the entries, I thought that I seemed more spiritually mature then than I do now.

Like I mentioned earlier, my parents made me wear skirts and dresses a lot.  We ALWAYS wore them to church and most times when we went to any events, family get-togethers, or whenever we went to someone's house to visit.  I HATED it.  I always felt SO out of place with my friends and I just wanted so badly to be "cool" like them and wear "cool" clothes.  My best friend went to public school, played sports and got to wear pants to church.  I envied her.  Boy, did I envy her!  I was always the more athletic, tomboyish type (don't get me wrong, I still played dress up and played with Barbie's and such),   so needless to say, I wore jeans or pants whenever I got the chance.  You could usually find me climbing a tree, or playing in the woods with my neighbors, sliding down hills into the creek and coming home covered in mud. 

I was raised to be a homemaker.  I was taught to cook and clean so I could be a wife and stay at home mom some day.  College was never encouraged at my house and honestly, it was something I never even considered.  But I figured out when I was a teenager that being a stay at home mom was not what I wanted to do with my life.  So I got a job.  

I was engaged to my husband, Phil at 18 and married when I was 20.  I'll talk more about that in another post some day.  After being married for a couple of years we decided we wanted to start a family.  We now have two boys, ages 4 and 6.  Phil and I both knew from the beginning that we didn't want to homeschool our kids.  We didn't feel like the Lord was leading us to, so our boys now attend a private Christian school, which we LOVE.  

Phil and I grew up going to the same church (obviously the one that my dad pastored).  We attended there faithfully until a little over 3 years ago.  My dad had resigned from the church the year after Phil and I got married, because he and my mom felt called to missions and they moved to Bangkok, Thailand.  It was really tough attending our home church after my parents had left - a lot of things changed and it was a huge adjustment.  But we continued to attend for a few years even after they had left.  Phil and I both felt like we needed a change and we had been talking about it and praying about it for quite some time before we decided to leave.  Honestly, I had reached a point where I felt spiritually dead.  I hadn't felt the presence of the Holy Spirit in my life in a long time.  It was definitely time for a change for our little family.  

We decided to visit Lancaster Community Church because a friend of ours had invited us.  We knew after the first time we went that it was going to be a good fit for us.  We LOVED it and we still do.  Phil is actually on staff at LCC now and it is truly where we belong.  I could write a whole separate post on how LCC has changed my life personally (and maybe I will), and I cannot begin to thank God enough for leading us there.  I feel more spiritually alive than I ever have. 

So...I'm a rebel.  I wear jeans.  I have short hair.  I'm a Mom that works outside of the home.  I don't homeschool my kids.  I left the church I grew up in (which my dad is now pastor of again after moving back from Thailand).  I'm a rebel.  And I kind of like it that way.

I just want to add that I don't believe there is anything wrong with being a stay at home Mom, nor do I believe that there is anything wrong with homeschooling.  To those of you that are stay at home Mom's or do homeschool- I think you are amazing and you are stronger than you know.