I think I’ve been in a bad
mood for over a week. I don’t really
know why – I mean, I could give you a list of things that have contributed to
it, but I couldn’t really tell you where it’s stemming from exactly.
I haven’t been sleeping well,
nor have I been getting enough sleep.
I’ve been having more headaches than I normally do. I’ve had a bad cold. I’ve had PMS (am I allowed to say that?).
All of these things thrown together are just a recipe for disaster. I’ve been irritable, grumpy, and just plain
not enjoyable to be around. I’ve been
short with my husband and impatient with my boys. I just haven’t been myself at all.
The same thing has been going
on with Phil. He hasn’t been sleeping
well (part of that is my fault because I’ve been talking in my sleep and
jumping out of bed and saying crazy things – which I NEVER do). He’s been really down and depressed
lately. He’s been emotional and
irritable. He’s also been impatient with
our boys.
Now add the two of us
together and – boom! We have been
driving each other crazy, getting on each other’s nerves, being short with each
other. And each of us has been thinking
that the other is the problem. Isn’t
that how it usually is?
Phil and I have talked about
things a couple of times and have both admitted that we don’t know where this
is coming from and what is causing it.
We both just feel “off” – but can’t explain why. He even mentioned to me that some of the
staff that he works with at LCC have been feeling the same way.
This morning as I was washing
my dishes, I was spending some time in prayer (and being so thankful for
silence while my boys are at school – thank you, Jesus). I was asking God to help me change my
attitude and to help me snap out of this “funk” that I’ve been in. Then I prayed for my husband. Then I began to pray for my pastor and each
of the other pastors, elders and staff members at my church. After praying for a while, God reminded me of
what a wonderful marriage I have and also of what a wonderful church family and
church leaders we have been blessed with.
I began to think about so
many things my husband and I have been able to overcome in our 10 years of
marriage. We have dealt with some pretty
tough junk since we’ve been married. We
have hurt each other, we have done and said some really stupid things, but by
the grace of God, we have been able to fight and work through those things
together. Our marriage now, is the best
and strongest it has ever been – and I am so thankful. I am so thankful that we made the decision
before we got married that divorce would never be an option for us, no matter
how hard things get. We are in it for
the long haul – we are a team, whether we always “feel” like working together
or not. I know that Phil always has my
back and he knows that I always have his – no matter what.
Then I began thinking about
my church, my pastor, and the rest of the LCC staff. I was thinking about some of the things that
our church has been able to overcome.
Our church went through a split not too long ago and even though Phil and
I were not very involved in the church yet, I know that was a very tough time
for our church. There were a lot of hurt
feelings and I am sure that some people weren’t sure if we would fully recover
from that. But I am amazed at the
physical and spiritual growth our church has experienced! The Holy Spirit has been moving like crazy
within our church and we are literally busting at the seams! What an awesome testimony of God’s grace and
power!
After thinking about the
growth in my marriage and in my church, God reminded me that satan HATES
that. He doesn’t want me to have a
healthy marriage and he doesn’t want any of us to have a healthy church. John 10:10 immediately popped into my head:
“The thief (satan) comes only to steal and kill and destroy…” This little reminder just brought everything
full circle for me. This “funk” that I
have been in made sense to me now. I
truly believe that there is no reason for the way I have been feeling and
acting, other than the fact that it is from satan. He wants me to fight and argue with my husband
– he doesn't want us to get along – and he most certainly wants our marriage to
fail. And the same goes for our church –
satan doesn’t like that the Holy Spirit has been working in our church and
changing lives. He wants our church to
fail and fall apart. He wants us to be
in a “funk” – he wants us to feel oppressed, he wants us to be moody,
irritable, and grumpy so that we start snapping at each other and stop getting
along. He wants to kill and destroy any
unity and spiritual growth in our lives.
Thinking about this got me
all fired up. I started to get angry and
frustrated and it reminded me how vital it is that we always be on our
guard. We have to be so faithful about
resisting the devil in our lives – which made me think of another verse: “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from
you.” James 4:7 We can’t forget that satan is always out to
get us and that we must resist him and rebuke him in the name of Jesus,
continually. I will be honest with you –
I forget – a lot. “Be self-controlled
and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls
around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” 1 Peter 5:8
He is constantly prowling around us and loves to attack us - especially when he sees the Holy
Spirit working in our lives.
We need to pray for each
other. We need to pray for our
spouse. We need to pray for our
pastor. We need to pray for the leaders
in our church. They need to know that we
have their backs and that we are committed to being faithful prayer warriors on
their behalf. There is so much power in
prayer – don’t underestimate it.
“And pray in the Spirit on
all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep
on praying for all the saints.” -Ephesians 6:18
"Our prayer must not be
self-centered. It must arise not only because we feel our own need as a burden
we must lay upon God, but also because we are so bound up in love for our
fellow men that we feel their need as acutely as our own. To make intercession
for men is the most powerful and practical way in which we can express our love
for them." -John
Calvin
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